Nigerian Prince and Other Inquaries

Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince who needs help transferring $1,000,000 to your country. Can you help?

I dunno, the last Nigerian Prince I dealt with sent me a million dollar cheque, then asked me to transfer $1000.00 to his account so he could cover his plane ticket. Then his cheque bounced and I never heard from him again.
I’m not like that Nigerian Prince! I am a real Nigerian Prince and if you don’t believe me you can visit me in Nigeria and I’ll introduce you to my subjects. 
Hello, I am the son of Gaddafi and I am trying to find a safe haven for my fallen regime’s fortune. Can you help?
First of all, I have just come out of a terrible ordeal where I went to Nigeria to meet a Prince and instead I was held for ransom for 3 months. Second of all, I hated Gaddafi. So no, go die in a fire.
Hey, I am not like my father. Please help with my millions of dollars and I’ll reward you handsomely.
Only if you send it to me in Bitcoins.
Yeah, Bitcoins. Its a way of transferring money and investing without any fear of scams.
Oh, I didn’t know you were one of those guys. Can I then interest you in my business in West Africa that works entirely on Bitcoins?
… Sure why not, after all you can’t be as bad as your father.
Hello, my name Denise Milani and I am sooo intrigued by your online profile. Would you be interested in corresponding with me? I just came out of a terrible relationship and I could use someone like yourself.
Oh I know how that feels. I just wasted a 1000 Bitcoins on Gaddafi’s son business project. Turns out he’s as bad as his father. Sometimes I think God is just punishing me.
I know right! I think you are a guy that’s perfect for me. Why don’t you come and meet me at a photo shoot in Argentina?
Wait photoshoot? Are you a model or something?
Yes, I model bikinis :) Come to Argentina and have sex with me!
Hold on here… Google search tells me you are a bikini model AND you got this guy arrested for smuggling cocaine.
Denise… are you trying to turn me into a coke mule?
… Maybe. If you get passed security I’ll split the profits with you 40-60.
OMG You are trying to turn me into a coke mule! Was it all for the cocaine Denise? Is that all I am to you?
No I love you! I just need you to prove your love! And I’m offering you $600,000.
Denise, you need to stop taking cocaine… this addiction of yours is coming between us and it has already destroyed a man’s life. You need to quit.
No! You must prove your love for me! Come to me in Argentina!
I’ll prove my love for you… but I already know you aren’t in Argentina. I’m coming over to yor set-up in Colombia right now and I’m going to get you off of this stuff baby!