Profilers Mourn The Loss of Ariel Castro

Study of Known Psychopath Could Have Led to Effective Profiling

While many people are celebrating the death of Ariel Castro, the psychopath convicted of holding three women prisoner in his basement for years, others were saddened that a genuine psychopath in custody can no longer be studied. In addition to his attorney who hoped he could be studied, the world of criminal profiling were saddened at his passing.

Jack Crawford, head of the FBI’s Behavioral Sciences Unit particularly grieved Mr. Castro death.

“We’ve just missed out on our best chance to study a real sociopathic psychopath.” Director Crawford told reporters. “He was really our only chance at making this profiling stuff credible.”

The world of Criminal Profiling had taken several severe blows lately. Several studies have shown that Profilers yield results little better than psychics like Sylvia Brown and all the known profiles of Mr. Castro were tremendously off.

“I know we’ve had some problems” Director Crawford said, “However we were sure if we could study Mr. Castro we could finally get our success rate above 10%”. So far the success of Criminal Profilers has been lower than 5%.

For a little while it was believed that profiler Special Agent Will Graham would manage to raise the bureau over that magic 10% number, unfortunately he turned out to be a serial killer himself and was captured by Director Crawford himself.

“Will Graham was an unfortunate incident, but I think he shows the value of criminal profiling as it was my profiling skills that brought him to justice.” Director Crawford explained. “Without proper profiling, I would have been fooled by Graham into thinking that Doctor Hannibal Lector was the serial killer, but that’s insane.”

Doctor Hannibal Lector was accused by former Special Agent Graham of being a serial killer, but was cleared by the profiling work of Director Crawford. The premier psychologist expressed thanks to Director Crawford’s profiling abilities and hoped that the study of Graham would help make criminal profiling viable.

“I do not think Mr. Castro would make a good subject for observation.” Doctor Lector told reporters. “Unlike Mr. Graham, Mr. Castro was very rude.”

For more information on Criminal Profiling take a look at this old, but very good article here:  http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/11/12/071112fa_fact_gladwell