Alternative Plans to Solve The Fukushima Problem

Some of the World’s Greatest Minds Give Their Thoughts

The Tokyo Electric Company (TEPCO) has won the support of the Japanese government for the construction of an “Ice Wall”. This “Ice Wall” is intended to be constructed under Fukushima itself to prevent leaking radioactive water from spreading to outlying areas and the contaminating the groundwater.

Currently TEPCO is pumping several tons of water into Fukushima’s melted down reactors every day to cool them and prevent them from continuing to melt down. Unfortunately the water that is used to cool down the reactors becomes highly radioactive as it is used. Efforts to decontaminate the water have proven to be slow, and the vast bulk of the water has had to be stored in either the Fukushima Plant or in several cheaply constructed storage containers. That water is now leaking out of the containers and is threatening the surrounding area.

The solution TEPCO has come up with is an “Ice Wall”, made from salty sea water pumped into the ground and then frozen using several pipes carrying some kind of refrigerant. TEPCO and the Japanese government hope that the project will create an impenetrable wall which will do what the poorly constructed water containers could not and keep the radioactive water from leaking out.

Previous solutions to the leaking water have included:

  • A suggestion by the Nuclear Regulatory Agency that since the cheaply constructed water containers did not include water level gauges, TEPCO should inspect the containers at least every hour as opposed to TEPCO’s standard checks of twice a day. TEPCO then doubled the amount of inspections to four times a day, and yet that was not enough to find all the leaking water.
  • A steal wall was being constructed to prevent the water from reaching the ocean. Unsurprisingly the water simply washed over the wall.
  • Decontaminate the water at a faster rate or use less of it to cool down the reactors. Unfortunately both options seem to be rather pricy or unfeasible.
  • Build storage container with water level gauges that are not made from hastily riveted steel. No idea why this hasn’t been done yet.

Although we have complete faith in TEPCO, we thought it would be a good idea to get a second opinion from some of the greatest minds from the world of business and science.

Tony Stark of Stark Enterprises

Tony_StarkAn “Ice Wall”?! Have they lost their @#$#$ minds?! Who builds a #@$$ ice wall to solve a leaking nuclear plant?

Oh it’s another one of TEPCOs great

Ok here’s the deal, even if they succeed in building this thing, the radioactive water won’t magically go away. It’s going to stay there for decades to come @#$@#$ plans! Why am I not #$@@$ surprised!

Look, the solution is real simple: Get some heat resistant concrete and use it to entomb the reactor like they did in Chernobyl. It’ll probably cost four times as much as this $@#$ “Ice Wall”, and it will have to be done with expensive robots, but everyone will be safe and secure.and the moment this ridiculous “Ice Wall” loses power and melts, that @#$@ is going to spread all over the place.

Lex Luthor of LexCorp


An “Ice Wall?!” That’s preposterous! Is this some kind of a practical joke? I am a very busy businessman and my time is valuable… they are seriously considering building an Ice Wall. You aren’t joking.

Alright I’ll bite, TEPCO’s already tried hardening the ground under Fukushima to prevent this from happening and the radioactive water simply washed over it. The only difference between that plan and this “Ice Wall” is one involves spending half a billion dollars. It’s like trying to stop water from a faucet by holding a plate under it, except now the plate is made from ice!

king up everything from the start and as a result the entire nuclear industry has suffered. If the Japanese Government continues to let TEPCO handle this problem, a large chunk of Japan is going to become a worthless radioactive piece of slag.You want a solution, here’s a solution: Fire TEPCO and hire LexCorp. TEPCO has been muc

On the other hand, LexCorp would solve the problem immediately by taking the contaminated radioactive water and dumping it into the ocean. I know it sounds terrible, but so long as it’s spread out, the ocean should dilute the radioactive properties of the water enough that it will become harmless. It’s cheap, easy, and it makes a lot more sense than an “Ice Wall”.

Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four


An “Ice Wall”?! A super villain has encased the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant in an Ice Wall? No, TEPCO and the Japanese Government are considering building an “Ice Wall” to stop the radioactive water from leaking into the ground?! Are you serious?! Oh heavens, you are actually serious.

Hmm, well I’d have to see the science behind it, but I suppose an “Ice Wall” is feasible

under the right conditions. There are definitely some risks involved, but I suppose it’s a cheaper solution then encasing the thing in a sarcophagus made from heat resistant concrete.

Then again, the cheapest solution would be to just let the reactors continue their melt down and actually melt all the way to the centre of the Earth. Sure, a lot of radiation would leak along the way, and there’s a small chance that the sinking super-heated reactors would punct

ure a small hole in a tectonic plate and create a miniature Volcano, but we’d get the whole thing over with. It’s by far the cheapest solution and makes more sense than this “Ice Wall”.

Norman Ozborne of OzCorp


An “Ice Wall”? That sounds like a completely rational and sane plan. In fact, I’d say it’s a fantastic idea and will keep Fukushima safe for decades to come. I couldn’t have thought of a better idea myself.

I would like to personally congratulate TEPCO and the Japanese Government for going ahead with such a bold and ingenious project. This “Ice Wall” is a cost effective and brilliant way to save all of those weak people living around Fukushima from that refreshing radioactive water.

Admittedly there is the possibility that the “Ice Wall” would melt, but I don’t think TEPCO should be deterred. Even if there was a power failure or a refrigerant leak, it would take time for it to melt. In that precious time, a hero could desperately try and restore power and refreeze the ground.

Think of it as if you put a chocolate in your mouth and underneath that chocolaty layer was a delicious radioactive peanut. Other options would have you crunch down and instantly get your full dose of the peanut, but the “Ice Wall” gives you time to savour the moment, that oh so sweet moment, and gives you the chance to stop yourself from reaching that peanut of pure radioactive bliss.

It’s good that they’ve come up with a plan to save the people living around Fukushima. I mean, think of what could happen without such a sane plan. Really, think of all the terrible possibilities, however horrible they may be— all of those innocent people being irradiated with that poisonous water. Many people would die and the survivors would wish they were dead… unless they developed the evolutionary enhancements needed to survive such a dose of radiation… but that’s simply speculation. We wouldn’t really know unless that precious radioactive water is released… and fortunately all that stands in the way will be that “Ice Wall”.

For more on the Ice Wall and the leak at the Fukushima Plant, you might want to read this PBS Interview here: